So far, our 2019 year has not gone according to plan. It has been filled with demo, rubble, water damage, medical bills, destruction, rebuilding, financial stress, tears, sweat, and some pain, physically – like when Kevin hammered his thumb instead of the nail, 😮 and some emotionally – like the several unexpected medical bills that have come in or insurance issues that have caused months of research and time to dispute and correct. 😦

Today, I was looking at a pile of rubble – one of many – from having to tear down (to rebuild) our severely water damaged sunroom – and I wanted to cry.

I feel overwhelmed, I feel weight on my shoulders, I feel stressed, I feel angry, I feel sad. Someone else’s poor choices has caused an avalanche of consequences for us to deal with. Isn’t that frustrating? Isn’t it unfair?

It is unfair, but I also know that my poor choices have unfairly caused consequences for someone else to deal with. Some of those consequences I am aware of and some I am not. So while I am tempted to get angry because of it being “unfair”, the Holy Spirit is calling me to be humble and to see that all of humanity has a hand in the pot of poor choices unfairly affecting one another. I feel He is calling me to look to Him instead of taking a journey down angry street.

I feel the Holy Spirit is calling me to be open and available to the people we will meet and work with to correct, work through, and/or pay the medical bills, repair the sunroom, or other repairs our home needs. So, while this sucks, He’s giving us the opportunity to meet and possibly influence people for His kingdom and to trust Him, His purpose, and His plan. His good plan. He’s giving us the opportunity to partake in the plan He has to bring good through the unfair and poor choices someone else decided to make. Isn’t that just like Him?

Think about it. Adam and Eve made a poor choice in the garden and ate the fruit God told them not to. Then, God worked through their poor choice and brought about good. He made a plan to bring restoration back to humanity. And something I need to realize is that God’s “good” plan doesn’t necessarily look like what my good plan would look like. I want easy, I want justice, I want a money tree in the back yard!! But I can’t see the full picture nor do I have the capability to understand the impact each puzzle piece makes like He does. God sent Jesus to die. That, to me – through my human eyes and understanding – on the surface, doesn’t seem like a good plan. But knowing the good that Jesus’ death and resurrection accomplished is, well, good. In fact, I think good is too soft of a word for it. Amazing, fantastic, awesome, outstanding, restorative, saving, eternal impact, indescribable… these are some words that come to mind of the good that Jesus accomplished.

Ok, Sarah, where are you going with all of this? Well, I think venting these thoughts is bringing me to a place to say – I want whatever you have in store for me, Lord, during this challenging season. Because it’s gotta be good. Like, sitting in a recliner, eating popcorn, looking at the big screen watching Captain Marvel kick butt kind of good. But, I need to keep in mind, His good may not look like my kind of good. At first glance any way. It’s like Avengers Infinity War where Thanos won. It didn’t look good. I wasn’t happy leaving the theater that night. But! It wasn’t the end of the story! Avengers End Game is playing now (Go see it!! – and nope, no spoilers here!!) 🙂 What I am trying to say is there may be something more that I just can’t see or anticipate. So I have to trust in God’s good plan, not my own ideas of what good should look like.

What are you struggling with that seems unfair? Will you decide today to get off of angry street and choose God’s good street instead? What would that look like for you? Maybe forgiving someone who doesn’t deserve it. Maybe apologizing? Maybe being inconvenienced? Maybe letting out a good cry to release the emotional build up, letting it out so you can let God in? I don’t know what it looks like for you… but be open to God’s good. He’s got a better view of what good actually looks like. 😉 Keep pressing forward my friend.