I wrote a short post on Facebook a while back and I wanted to share it here and elaborate a bit more. So the post went something like this…

We’re having some people over this evening and I began to want to clean up EVERY “imperfection” of our home… I wanted it out of sight. BUT, then the thought came to me; I want to cover the messiness of my life, I want to portray perfection, an unrealistic picture of who I am. Because if I’m honest, a lot of times I’m a mess – there’s crumbs on the floor, dishes in the sink, laundry to be done, dry shampoo in my hair, and sun damage on my face. But the fear of someone seeing my mess can cause unrealistic expectations and anxiety in me. It can cause relational conflict, unnecessary stress, and the real problem, in my opinion, the lack of true, honest relationship. God gets in our mess and works with what we’ve got – he sees even that which we try to hide – but he isn’t scared of our mess and he never told us we had to hide it. Rather, he says bring me your mess and I’ll show you grace, love, forgiveness, compassion, and most importantly, belonging and a relationship with me. There’s always boundaries, and I don’t want my words taken out of context, but I also don’t want to hold myself to a standard of unrealistic perfection and shame myself when I don’t obtain it. I want to be real, relational, compassionate, forgiving, and connected to other humans in a bunch of gunk so we can do this life together… #ownyourmess❤️

I feel like I was focusing on the external mess in my post – which is all true – but what it points to is an internal mess. It is the visible symptom(s) to an invisible issue. A heart issue.

Why is perfection, or rather the perception of being perfect, so important to me/us? Why are we so determined to portray a better, unrealistic version of ourselves (Insta filters, Snapchat filters, etc… yep its a “we” thang)? Why am I so afraid of people seeing my mess?

I think it’s because my mess is hard, dirty, humbling, annoying at times, ugly at times, raw, gritty, imposing and unwanted, and it’s the truth. Mess is messy… For me, I think of a cluttered house – ever step on a Lego that wasn’t picked up and put away —OUCH!?! Have you ever tripped over your kids shoes because they were left in the bathroom? Or how about stepped in cat vomit that is strategically in the part of the hallway only you would walk in, yep – epitome… of…. gross!!!

I feel like this post is sort of a part 2 to my Cupcakes and Rainbows post… We want life to be all cupcakes and rainbows… But if we think about these two things, what makes cupcakes, cupcakes, is they’re cooked in high heat for a designated time to yummy completion. The beautiful Rainbow – and if you’re lucky a double rainbow – comes after the storm.

Our truth, our mess, is the ingredient(s) that can bring about beauty. It’s in our weakness that the strength of Christ shines through! It’s where He works and brings about the cupcakes and rainbows in our lives. But we have to embrace the process, which means we have to embrace the truth. I feel like truth is the underlying issue here… We are taught, by the father of lies, that the truth isn’t as enjoyable, it isn’t as pleasurable, it isn’t as desirable, it isn’t attractive… but he’s the father of lies… I hate to be obvious here, but anything he tells you is a lie! The Bible says it’s all he can do (John 8:44)…

The truth is, while yes our mess is messy, it can generate something beautiful when you embrace the growth opportunity your mess brings you. It’s an opportunity to see areas in your life that need work and change. It’s a place that can create deep intimacy with the One who loves every bit of you!

When Jesus was on trial and in front of Pontius Pilate, Pilate asked Jesus, “so are you a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this purpose I have come in to the world – to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.” John 18:37 (emphasis added)

We need the truth. Truth is what brings freedom. Have you ever felt that sense of relief when you confessed something to someone you may have wronged and the end result was reconciliation? It’s as if a literal weight was removed from your soul and your body felt significantly lighter? That’s what it is like with God. When we confess our mess to Him, He forgives us and He grows us. Sometimes we still have to face the consequences of our actions and sometimes He mercifully removes the consequences. But ultimately, God’s main goal is for you to grow and have a heart that looks more and more like the heart of His Son – and His Son is Truth and Light (and so much more).

Embrace your mess. Be vulnerable and truthful even if it’s only to God as your first step. Let’s start a movement that says humanity is beautiful without a filter on it (confession – this does not mean I won’t wear makeup – I love it for the fun and artistry of it ).

But our differences, our messiness, the oddities of our personalities… It all paints a gorgeous picture. Does that mean we like everyone we meet and become buddy buddy, no, but we can try and look at everyone we meet as someone Jesus loves and left His throne room to die for and save. Does that mean we leave our mess and never clean it up, definitely not – remember the Lego from before? You learn from your messiness and clean it up so you don’t hurt your foot on that stupid Lego again!!

What you learn from your mess might just be what someone else needs to know to give them the hope they need to get through their mess. A perfectly false portrayal of your life doesn’t help anyone, but truth, growth, and the comfort of, “I’ve been there, too” does so much. You have an opportunity to put your arm around someone and encourage them that they don’t have to step on that Lego again either!

Who will you come along side of today and give them some hope?